


ecdysis study

by brella



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: E-mail, Epistolary, Friendship, Gen, Growing Up, Long-Distance Friendship, Post-Canon, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:26:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28061649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brella/pseuds/brella
Summary: During his first year of university, Tsukishima writes some emails.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio & Tsukishima Kei & Yachi Hitoka & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Akiteru & Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 21
Kudos: 161
Collections: Moonrise: A Tsukishima Kei Zine





	ecdysis study

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for the _Moonrise_ zine. My assignment was to write something about Tsukishima's future. His friendship with the other first-years has always been really important to me, so the direction to take seemed obvious. The Akiteru section was cut from the zine itself due to its length—the piece still works without it, I think, thanks to the insight of the mods—but I'm including it here for the full experience. 
> 
> I was so happy to have been a part of this project with so many other gifted and passionate creators. [Check it out](https://twitter.com/TsukishimaZine), if you like!

**I.**

_ Kei! _

_ Well? Are you all moved in? I’m going to assume that you are, and that your new and exciting life in Tokyo is the reason you haven’t sent an email to your adoring big brother, rather than that something heavy fell on you and you’ve been trapped ever since. Not that I would know. You used to tell me everything, and now…! _

_ I’m teasing. I can already imagine the sourpuss face you must be making, though, and I guess if I can still picture those things so clearly, there’s not really much point in missing you quite yet. I know I say this all the time, but it feels like just yesterday that I was making you practice receives in the yard, with the camellia all in bloom, and you were begging me to let you try something cooler, like serves. Now you’re off getting ready to use that quiet little passion of yours to make lots of cool new friends at your cool new university, in cool old Tokyo.  _

_ All’s well here, and as hot as ever. The Kaji Wild Dogs sure miss you! Akaizawa-san especially. He’s been moping so much, I told him he should just send you flowers. He didn’t like that very much, though. Mom is already putting together a care package for you—lots of pears and strawberry Pocky and some Yu-Gi-Oh cards, because no matter how many times I tell her that you’ve told me you’ve outgrown them, I guess she knows better.  _

_ Write to me sometime, will you? Doesn’t have to be today, doesn’t have to be tomorrow… but before the summer’s over, at least. You’re growing like a weed, Kei. You can’t blame me for wanting to watch, where you’ll let me.  _

_ With a hug you’ll hate from the big bro you don’t, _

_ Akiteru _

*

_ Niichan, _

_ I don’t make sourpuss faces. My face is normal.  _

_ You’re right, though. Missing me this early is just kind of sad. I’m barely through the second week of classes. You’re always so nostalgic. It’s more becoming of an old man than a twenty-something office worker. You remember the strangest things. Was it really a camellia bush we had in our yard? I had no idea. I just saw the flowers bloom for half the year, and that was enough. But I guess I always did count on you to tell me the names of things.  _

_ Anyway, yes, I’m moved in. The dormitory apartment is fine. There is a refrigerator. Classes are also fine. I’d like to just concentrate on the Accounting degree, but they expect me to supplement my education with the liberal arts, so I’m taking a poetry class. The professor is out sick, though, so we won’t start meeting in person until the end of the month.  _

_ I don’t want flowers from Akaizawa-san.  _

_ Volleyball is the same here as it was in Miyagi. Players are archetypal. The ace is quiet and cool. The libero is noisy. The wing spikers are fast, and their presence commanding. I’m not playing on the main rotation yet—they already have a robust lineup of middle blockers, all of them more experienced than I am. But one of them has decided to “take me under his wing,” as if that’s a place I need to be taken. Keeps ensnaring me into practices that last until long after the sun has gone down. It’s like the Tokyo training camp all over again. But at least Kuroo-san isn’t here.  _

_ Consider the weed a little taller today. And tell kaasan thanks for the Yu-Gi-Oh cards. _

_ Kei _

* * *

**II.**

_Dear Kei-kun,_

_I can’t believe you were nice enough to give me your email and I’m repaying you by writing in_ _May_ _. May! Come on, Hitoka!! What’s he supposed to think other than that you’ve forgotten all about him, and never wanted his email in the first place, and are spending your days in Osaka cursing his name?! If you think that, Tsukishima, I promise it isn’t true! I would never, ever forget you, and when you gave me your email I cried!! I’ve just been super forgetful since university started, what with moving in and starting classes and joining the Journalism Club and signing up for the school lit magazine’s editorial board and volunteering at the youth sports center by my apartment complex and…_

_Well, anyway. I miss you._

_It’s probably weird to hear me be so candid. But I just do! I can’t help it. I miss Tadashi, too, and Shouyou and Kageyama-kun. And lots of people and things besides. I miss the way the rain clouds looked coming over the mountains. I miss getting snacks at Sakanoshita. I miss the sound of sneakers on the gym floor and the smell of air salonpas. I miss being able to see the stars._

_Do you miss the stars, Kei-kun? I hear there’s a really good planetarium in Shibuya. Maybe you and Tadashi could go one weekend when he comes to visit. He told me he might over the summer. Summer in Tokyo sounds so nice… like something out of a coming-of-age movie. Ah, but I guess we already had our coming-of-age movie, didn’t we? Like, three times over._

_Oh well. I guess growing up is a thing you do lots of times. If you didn’t, it wouldn’t really be life, would it?_

_Ah! I’m being so boring! I’m sorry!!! Tell me all about school! Are you taking any fun classes? Most of my coursework is general ed first-year stuff, but I managed to get into a lecture on the Man’yōshū, and I’m really excited! The professor is a real scholar. She reminds me of Shimizu-senpai, a little. But she isn’t as pretty. That’s between us, okay?_

_Tell me about the things you miss. Tell me about the things you don’t miss. Tell me anything and everything you want!_

_Until next time,_

_Hitoka_

*

_Hitoka-san,_

_Thank you for your note. Rest assured it did not once cross my mind that you loathed me nor that you had somehow erased me from your memory. I’m busy, too. I think most of being alive is being busy._

_You should try to avoid crying when people give you their emails. Just some advice._

_I’m taking introductory classes on business statistics, general economics, managerial accounting, and ethics. Plus a poetry class, but that was not consensual. We’ll be reading the Man’yōshū at some point too, I expect, but the professor has a particular fondness for the Shin Kokin, and we’ve had to do recitations, my nightmare. I went with the one about evergreens and loneliness, and the autumn mountains. Stupid as it sounds, it reminded me of home._

_Maybe it will disappoint you, but I haven’t found myself missing anything yet. It’s nice to be in a place where my name could belong to anybody—not just to Tsukishima Kei, middle blocker for Karasuno. Now I can be Tsukishima Kei, benchwarmer for Tokai, or Tsukishima Kei, who recited the poem about mountains. Tsukishima Kei, protagonist of a lauded coming-of-age movie. Just kidding._

_I hadn’t thought about the stars one way or another. But now that you’ve mentioned them, I have. I can’t see many of them here, but I can remember what it was like to see them. I think that’s what matters._

_Write back. Or don’t. But rest assured, whenever you do, I won’t have forgotten you. If I can remember stars, then I can remember a friend._

_Kei_

  
  


* * *

**III.**

_Hey, Tsukishima!_

_I can’t believe you still use email. You’re such an old man! Just text like the rest of us! Eh, I guess I can’t complain, since it’s way cheaper to use Wi-Fi than text overseas—so really, you’re doing me a favor! Anyway, how’s Tokyo? Is it super cool? Do you get to see the Tokyo Tower all the time?! Are they done with the Ariake Arena yet? Did you say hi to Kenma like I asked? What nerdy classes are you taking? Did you decide to join the team after all? Ahh, I can’t believe you get to play volleyball for Tokai; that’s so COOL! Cooler than you deserve! Geh, that was mean. I guess since it’s easier to say over email than to your super smug Tsukishima face, I’ll just say it—maybe you do deserve it. You’re amazing at volleyball, so I bet you’ll keep being amazing!_

_You gotta go to Brazil sometime! It’s AWESOME AND HUGE! I’ve been training super hard at beach volleyball and I’ve gotten like six sunburns! I’m shooting for ten! I love sunburns, y’know? You’re probably gonna say I’m a freak for that, but hear me out—isn’t there something so cool about getting burned, I mean really burned, by the SUN? And isn’t there something even cooler about how our skin peels off, and then it’s all fresh and pink underneath, and that becomes our new skin? So it’s kind of like you get to be reborn every time you get a sunburn, like you’re a lizard, what’s the word, molting? Like that! I love sun-molting! And I love the new person I’m becoming in Brazil!_

_Maybe you’re molting, too, into a brand new person in Tokyo. I wonder what the pink Tsukishima underneath is gonna make of himself? Well, whatever it is, I won’t lose to him!_

_Later!_

_Hinata_

*

_To Hinata Shouyou,_

_Ah, how strange. It seems your many emails were routed to my spam folder by mistake. Could it be because you’ve sent me thirty emails containing links to volleyball clips and cat videos? No, I’m sure there’s no relation._

_How you manage to make emails noisy I’ll never know. You are a being beyond my comprehension._

_You’ve_ _been_ _to Tokyo; you don’t need me to tell you what it’s like. I can usually see your precious Tokyo Tower from campus. They are not done with the Ariake Arena. Kenma sends his regards, as he has sent them to you personally by text many, many times. I will ignore the insinuation that I take nerdy classes. I expect it must be a lot of work for a creature of volleyball such as yourself to comprehend the idea of a well-rounded education. Don’t try._

_Don’t compliment me so earnestly. It’s disturbing. Besides, is calling my face “super smug” your idea of not being mean? Forgive me if I don’t weep with gratitude._

_Not to grab the low-hanging fruit, but you always make it so easy: you are a first-class freak. Who likes getting their skin singed off? Wear sunscreen! And for the record, your sunburn metaphor does an extreme disservice to lizards, which are resilient, responsible creatures that have adapted themselves to sun exposure through generations of evolution. Let me know how that molting thing works out when you contract skin cancer._

_You’ll be glad to know that the Tokai team is just as impressive as their past accomplishments led us to believe, back when we were all looking up universities on Hitoka-san’s computer after school. I was able to play in a practice match last week. We won. Shocking that such a thing is possible without you and His Majesty’s weirdo quick to back it up, but I suppose all things pass with time. Ah, it was so pleasant not to have to deal with you hollering your head off when I’d block a straight… so pleasant not to have you climbing all over me like a poorly trained koala. University volleyball is paradise._

_I doubt I’ll make it to Brazil before you make it back to Japan. We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, after all, or so everyone keeps telling me. Besides, the moon is always chasing the sun, isn’t it? I’ve given up on trying to catch up to you. But summer is here, and the light is long, and the earth is still turning. The only thing surer than our endless chase is that we’ll always share the same sky._

_Regards,_

_Tsukishima Kei_

* * *

**IV.**

_Tsukki—_

_Sorry. I know I could just text or video call you like usual, but… I kind of liked the idea of writing you an almost-letter. Now I can’t think of anything to say, though! Hm, let’s see… what to tell Tsukki that I haven’t already told him… ah, I know!_

_Okay, so… ever since I came to see you and we went to that planetarium, I’ve been thinking about space. It’s funny, because I was never_ _that_ _interested in it before. But the other night, I was up until 1 AM reading all these scientific articles and fact sheets about it, and watching documentaries… I just couldn’t sleep, thinking about all of the stars and planets and galaxies out there; thinking about how so many of the stars we see aren’t even there anymore. How their light took such a long time to reach us that they faded away while it was traveling. It’s so exciting, and so cool, but it also makes me really sad._

_Anyway, have you ever heard of cold welding? It’s this thing that happens where—like, if two pieces of the same metal touch in space, they’ll permanently bond to one another. See, on Earth, they need heat to do that—they’re kept apart by air and water, among other things—but out there in the vacuum of space, there’s nothing to tell them that they’re two separate pieces. Apparently it’s a real problem for actual spaceships, and parts can get cold welded and cause actual dangerous things to happen, but the principle of the thing is… kinda nice, right?_

_It made me miss you a lot less. Way back when, when you first showed me how to play volleyball, I feel like we kinda cold welded together. And now being together is so natural that when we’re apart, it barely even hurts._

_That’s super corny, isn’t it? My bad. Guess I should stick to telling you boring stuff about my course on logic design._

_How’s that poetry class going? How was your match this weekend? Did you decide to let your hair grow out after all?_

_Let’s video call soon. Even if the glare on your glasses makes you look like an evil robot._

_Yamaguchi_

*

_Yamaguchi,_

_I didn’t know about cold welding._

_The leaves on campus have started to change. Soon they’ll be all red and bright, falling everywhere in the cold afternoons. My favorite. But they’ll be back again, too. Green. Your favorite._

_Our poetry final is coming up. I think I’m going to do my paper on that one I recited for you when you came. The one about the mountain and the moon._

_We lost our weekend match. But it’s okay. My pride is tougher than that._

_You can write me more emails. I don’t mind._

_Tsukki_

_P.S. I’m considering switching to a double major. Maybe History. All of this court poetry is getting to me. But maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to start a career someplace that places value on remembering. A museum or something. We’ll see. Thought I’d run it by you first. You tend to be pretty good at helping me figure out the things that are worth the effort in this life. So here I am again. Asking._

* * *

**V.**

_hello tsukishima hinata will not shut the hell up about me emailing you apparently everyone else has done it so here i am. how are you and is the tokai team strong. kageyama_

*

_Um, Tobio-kun… I don’t know if this was intentional… but you sent this to the old Karasuno distro that I set up for the five of us back in our first year… but it’s okay! It’s really nice to hear from you!_

_Tsukishima: we just finished the Shin Kokin, and when I read the poem you mentioned, I got goosebumps! It’s so… I don’t know… it’s just very you. I ended up doing a recitation of it for the oral portion of the final exam. I hope I did it justice!_

_I can’t believe our first semester is coming to an end. We can tell each other all about it when we get back to Miyagi, so for now… everyone do your best!_

_Love, Hitoka_

*

_HAHA, KAGEYAMA! Nice going! Well, while I’m here, Tsukishima, might as well tell you that all that stuff about the sky went way over my head, but… it sounded kinda nice anyway. When the moon and stars come out in Rio, you can go down to the beach and watch them glinting off the water, all bright and glowy and calm. When I do that, it’s like you’re right there with me! Except if you were actually right there with me, you’d be telling me not to go to the beach in the dark because I might drown probably because I’m stupid and blah blah. Well, for your information, that only_ _almost_ _happened, and only once. But Pedro saved me._

_Good luck with your sun-molting!_

_Hinata_

*

_Hi, Tsukki! Hi, Kageyama! Hi, everybody!_

_Wah, so much pressure to think of something cool to say… here’s a picture of me and Tsukki at the planetarium over the summer. Hitoka-san, what kind of things can I bring back to Miyagi for you from that big stationery store you like? Send me a list!_

_And Tsukki—I think court poetry moves you for a reason. Like the mountain moves the moon._

_Yamaguchi_

*

_Now, now, let’s not mock His Majesty’s technological ineptitude too much. Kings are above such things, after all. There’s no need for email in the imperial court. It’s not his fault._

_Jeez, you people never change. This email thread is like a scroll of the ancient past. I can almost smell the air salonpas, wafting off of my phone screen and into the train car. It’s giving me a headache._

_Hitoka-san: Congratulations on your poetry final. I’m sure you did right by the evergreens._

_Hinata: I will not explain myself further. Wear sunscreen if you’re going to be molting._

_Yamaguchi: Thank you. I’ll take the merits of court poetry under advisement. Please delete that picture. Had I known you were hiding a camera I would not have smiled._

_Ousama. Kageyama. Tokai’s strong, same as plenty of other teams are strong, and will always be strong, with or without us. But their strength has roots, not wings. That’s all._

_See you all at winter’s end. Even if one of you is dialing in from a beach in Rio de Janeiro, I’m sure it will be like no time has passed, and like no distance has grown. We’re already cold welded, after all._

_Kei_

**Author's Note:**

> Ecdysis can refer to the process of shedding old skin in reptiles. 
> 
> Thank you to Meg for looking my words over, as ever.


End file.
